Questions for mothers

So, we're going through the home study to get OK'd to adopt a baby and we are getting asked some annoying-assed questions. I'm sure that if most parents had to go through this process before they could get pregnant, we wouldn't have a population control issue. A sampling:

• how much cash do you have in the bank?
• how long have you been married?
• how much is your rent/ monthly mortgage payment?
• how do you feel about your mother?
  
• why do you think you view her that way?
• are you sure you won't mind if your baby isn't the same color as you?
• do you think your mom will mind?
• are you sure? what if the baby isn't white?
• really? are you sure?
• what is your fire escape plan for your house?
• ask your doctor: are you expected to live a normal life span?
• now let's say that you get a baby that is, say, not white. will that be OK?
• so, how does it make you feel that you couldn't get pregnant?
  
• what if your baby is a different color than you?

My mom is helping me to look on the bright side of these stupid questions: 1) she says that if everyone did have to go through the process prior to pregnancy, somebody wouldn't be carrying my baby right now and 2) it's either this or throwing up for three months straight, then not fitting in any of my clothes, and doing all of this without coffee in the morning or wine at night.

So I'll answer your stupid questions, just pass the espresso - and hand me that baby.